Don't Read This
by diosa psycho
Summary: Plainly idiotic, crack Fic, also inspired in dude where's my car, consider yourself warned and don't complain to me


**I don't I repeat, I don't own Naruto**

**Don't say I did not warn you**

**Newsflash:**

I just received a last minute notification that all city roads, streets, driveways must be clear immediately because Itachi Uchiha wants a burger from Jack in the Box and he is... RRRRRUUUUUUUNNNN for your lives!!!!!!!!!!!!! Itachi is Driving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. News man screams Hysterically as he leaves running.

"Um.., I wonder why the streets are so empty, like a Ghost Town" wondered Tobi who was in the passenger seat ( First time riding with Itachi).

"Yeah, I want a a bacon sourdough with Curly fries" asked Itachi to the Chinese food speaker box( Itachi is seated in the drivers seat)

"Ah Itachi- San, these is isn't a..." Tobi sweat dropping tried to tell him that they were in the wrong place after crushing two other restaurants.

"Hush you weak hate lacking Tobi" Itachi activating his Sharingan.

"And Thennnnnnn?" asked the annoying Chinese food drive through cashier.

"No and then" said Itachi in a threatening tone.

..." silence but, " And then, and then, and then, and then"

"Gahh, Mangekyu Sharingan!!!!!!!". yelled angry Itachi.

Oh Oh, Now you are truly blind Itachi- San" said Tobi a bit annoyed.

"Mommy look there is Itachi and he is on a car" said a small kid.

"Run Johnny, Run, he is driving!!!!!!!!!!" yelled the mother in panic.

**A list of theme songs every Naruto Character should have, more than one is fair**

Tsunade: Milkshake- Kelis. Like a Pill from pink, She is a Lady by Tom Jones, Dream On from rolling Stones ( dedicating to Orochimaru)

Naruto: Pretty fly for a white guy, Ninja of the Night, Holiday from Green Day, Faint( Linkin Park), Go the Distance ( Hercules song)

Kisame: Blue, The Animal I've become, Jaws Theme

Kiba: Who let the dogs out, Atomic Dog from George Clinton

Pain: I like to move it move it, Comprendez Mendez by Control Machete

Sasuke: Emo Song, Family Portrait ( Pink), Chop Suey and Revenga from System of a Down, Crawling by Linkin Park

Sakura: Sakura Kiss ( OHSHC theme), Because I'm a Girl from Kiss, Stupid Girl from Pink

Ino: I'm a Barbie Girl from Aqua., I'm Just a girl from no Doubt

Kabuto: Let the Bodies hit the Floor from Drowning Pool, Crazy from Charles Gnarley

Gaara: Enter Sandman from Metallica, How could this happen to me?", Pain from 3 days grace

Jiraya: Paradise City from Guns N' Roses, Boom Boom Boom Venga Boys ( with any girl he meets), Just the two of us from Will Smith ( Training Naruto), I like Big butts.

Zetsu: Mr. Lonely from Akon ( After Tobi became Deidara's partner)

Itachi: Getting away with Murder

Kakashi: Sin from Robbie Williams, Somebody Told me by the Killers, Sexy back By Justin Timberlake

Deidara: Boom, Dude looks like a Lady from Aerosmith

Sasory: Technologic from Daft punk

Ten Ten: butterfly from Crazy Town

Rock Lee: We will Rock you from Queen, Go Girl Dirty by Pit Bull, Headstrong by Trapt

Orochimaru: Any from Marilyn Manson, Do you really want to hurt me from Boy George ( before he killed third Hokage)

Kurenai: Bad Boy from Cascada dedicated to Asuma

Tobi: Bleed it out from Linkin Park, Cartoon Heroes from Aqua ( when he was still Obito),

Gai: Beautiful from Cristina Aguilera, also theme song for Shizune, Kung Fu Hustle

Kakuzu: For the Love of Money -The O'Jays

Konan: London Bridge from Fergie

Iruka: School of Hard Knocks by P.O.D.

Sound four or five: A pirate's life is for me, other than that, classical

Akatsuki: Sonne by Rammestein, En El Camino ( in the Road) by Control Machete

Anko: Angel from Shaggy

All Naruto Girls: I'm a Bitch from Alanis Morissette

Hidan: Can't Touch This

Hinata: Perfect by Simple Plan ( dedicating to all think she is weak), Die Another Day from Madonna

Neji: Are you going to be my girlfriend from white stripes ( for Ten ten), You Don't Know by Eminem, You spin me around

Anyone else sorry, that is all I got for the moment.

**Cause of Death**

**Kiba: Rabbies **

**Kankuro: Strangled with his own Puppet.**

**Deidara: Swat targeted him as terrorist **

**Neji: loss of blood when he poked his own eyes after seeing both Gai and Rock naked with the Byakugan**

**Jiraya: Some say of old Age, but in reality was Overdose of Viagra with Tsunade.**

**Tobi: Itachi too blind to see it was not a Lollipop, wanted to try theory of how many licks to get to the center and ended with brain flavor 9 Disturbing)**

**Zetsu: Went to a Ghetto Neighborhood and got smoked.**

**Sasuke: Accidentally got swallowed by an undomesticated Anaconda**

**Suigetsu and Karin: Juugo was on Crack**

**Sai: Unknown, Nobody noticed he was dead with that smile until a rat came out popping his eye ball out ( Oh my god they killed Sai, You bastards- Yamato).**

**Naruto: Choke on Ramen, Sakura was too busy laughing to do the Heimlich maneuver.**

**Konan: Boredom**

**San siblings: Dehydration ( isn't supposed to be used to the sun?)**

**Chouji: Diarrhea ( it can happen)**

**Deidara: his hand swallowed him**

**Sasori: Termites.**

**How did Zetsu die?**

**Eaten by Vegetarians ( God somebody call for Plant and vegetation protection Organization)**

**The end.**

**If you read this, you have now brain Damage.**

**AN. I was bored and I come out with this junk, if somebody got offended sorry, I wonder how many will actually comment on this.**


End file.
